Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
