I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
do herpes really smell.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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