talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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