$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
