Whoa Z and x make the same sound
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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