Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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