Duck Duck Cougar?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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