we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize
