She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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