Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Your tits are I can't wait for
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
