A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
