Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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