Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Randomize
