I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
