Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
