I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
