yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
