Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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