Just cropdusted the office
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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