You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
