what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize