yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
