Need sex. Gaining weight.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize