he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
