she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
