think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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