I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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