He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You ruined the universe
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
