just come out here and I will go home with you...
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
