she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
