Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize