Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
