I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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