Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
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I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
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He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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