so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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