it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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