If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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