i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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