i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
