The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize