There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
