You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
