the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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