Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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