she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
