This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
