fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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