She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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