Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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