Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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