Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
