Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Randomize
