i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Randomize
