Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
