I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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