I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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