He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
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