i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
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drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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