I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
