I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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